I colored my vulnerability with lies
Pouring words I didn’t mean
Fear of letting you speak
Fear of what you would say
Fear of truth
I colored my vulnerability with sass
Pretending not to care
The alternative being far too painful
The alternative being feelings
The alternative of lust
I colored my vulnerability with illusions
Pretending to enjoy debauchery
Pretending to revel in chaos
Pretending to be
I colored my vulnerability with loss
Losing myself yet again
Inebriated amplified desire
Inebriated sprung alter ego
Inebriated courage
But you’ll never know –
That I lied about not caring
That I hid behind attitude
That I am weak rather than tough
That I wanted that hug
That I fear never seeing you again
That I sip this liquid gold
Thinking of your soft duvet