I could use a love song
to help wash this third cup of coffee down.
Caffeine used to make me giggle high
now it sits in my stomach, mixing,
floating with these insecurities I don’t recognize.
It’s taken me all this time
to evolve past selfish
so forgive me for drowning in myself this time.
“Another?” said the waiter, and I swear his eyes were
Judging.
“It’s not like I can order what I really want.” I reply
with a glare, but poor guy, he was completely unaware.
Unaware of my solemn need to feel
something.
Even that tickle in my veins –
adrenaline
stimulating, waking me up,
uncovering my body from this self critical
blanket I have been hiding under.
I’m not searching for love,
that’s not something you look for.
Long for, maybe, but you can’t look for something
that takes no form,
that takes every form.
No, no, stop here you,
I just want to hear again.
Yeah, hear that chirping you hear,
when you’re waking up and it’s spring in winter.
Yeah…
I just want to see again.
See all those colors, what do you call them?
Auras.
When you’re walking out of an airport
and you’re home in somewhere.
That’s right.
I just want to taste again.
Taste the blue sea in those eyes.
There was a time I could taste Napali Coast,
if I sat still in front of my laptop, right here,
sitting outside the Hudson river.
I just want to feel
“An espresso, please.”
I just want to feel
© Magnified Reflections 2013
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