And suddenly you’re sitting at a bar at 6pm. Unable to walk home. Unable to walk back. Unable to move. Slowly poisoning, slowly destroying your body with liquid evil. Evil that is somehow soothing. The taste – bitter, takes control of your nervous system. Nerves no more. Ice, as light as possible, three cubes, sometimes less. The deep brown is now a light gold. The side glass of ice slowly melts away as your thoughts begin to make sense. The Colbie Callait music playing is fairly appropriate. Folks scattered through the bar, you’re not alone. The bartender is a friendly face. No harm, no awkwardness, just a mellow drink. Things make sense amid a drunken slur. Thoughts aren’t as confusing. They may not make sense but drunken thoughts are the epitome of sober feelings. Subconscious feelings? Irrational emotions? Song change. Oh no, not that song – “Over the Rainbow.” Why did I dedicate that song to her? It’ll never let me be. Anxiety. I cannot breathe. I want to scream, scream in the middle of nowhere. No one should hear my thoughts. Or maybe I want to be heard. No. Privacy. “Somewhere over the rainbow…” That’s where I’d like to be. Away. Gone. But I’m here. Stuck.
© 2013 Stephanie Alfaia Gomes All Rights Reserved