Home Poetry If the city ever sleeps

If the city ever sleeps

by Stephanie Alfaia

I leave my home for anywhere
Pack a bag of comfort and fly to a distant shore, close enough.
New York for all.
New York for those who want it.
If you’re not hungry, you’re stuck in the rat wheel.
New York, who am I to criticize you,
when I return again and again hoping you’ll ask me to stay?
New York, where the uncertain belong.
Where the bored find life and lose it.
The insomnia.
New York, go to sleep.
The city hums in my left ear, the sun comes up
New York, let me sleep.

I leave you because the person I think I love, is never here.
Because gardens in kitchens
New York, why do you give me everything
and take it way?
I’m upset, I have complaints.
New York, I saw my life turn into a blank check.
New York, I chased you.
I add zeros and disqualify myself.
Bacon, egg, and cheese,
New York, I’m hungry.

New York, I’m overwhelming
but so are you
can I come home?

Empty closets full
who has closets?
New York, give me space.
You fill our veins with confidence,
And hope and drive
And. Suddenly you don’t.
New York, I hate to admit –
you’ve got everything to offer to
a soul who’s never satisfied.
The maximizers.
New York, who are we to dream?
Mother to one.
Living in the present
looking up from an empty fork
at a table for one.

I took my home back and promised
I would stay
but you didn’t hold me,
New York.

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