Home Poetry On a Drink…

On a Drink…

by Stephanie Alfaia

And suddenly you’re sitting at a bar at 6pm. Unable to walk home. Unable to walk back. Unable to move. Slowly poisoning, slowly destroying your body with liquid evil. Evil that is somehow soothing. The taste – bitter, takes control of your nervous system. Nerves no more. Ice, as light as possible, three cubes, sometimes less. The deep brown is now a light gold. The side glass of ice slowly melts away as your thoughts begin to make sense. The Colbie Callait music playing is fairly appropriate. Folks scattered through the bar, you’re not alone. The bartender is a friendly face. No harm, no awkwardness, just a mellow drink. Things make sense amid a drunken slur. Thoughts aren’t as confusing. They may not make sense but drunken thoughts are the epitome of sober feelings. Subconscious feelings? Irrational emotions? Song change. Oh no, not that song – “Over the Rainbow.” Why did I dedicate that song to her? It’ll never let me be. Anxiety. I cannot breathe. I want to scream, scream in the middle of nowhere. No one should hear my thoughts. Or maybe I want to be heard. No. Privacy. “Somewhere over the rainbow…” That’s where I’d like to be. Away. Gone. But I’m here. Stuck. 

Surrounded by pointless conversations. Superficial topics. How can some folks worry about so little? Wreck of a society. Waste of humanity. Why am I so angry? No, the evil liquid is keeping me sane. The friendly presence smiles, I smile. A fake smile soothes the tensest of minds… Fake it until you mean it? No, that can’t be right. You weren’t made to prove fallacies. Stop wondering. Stop caring. “Stop and Stare” if only I was making up this playlist… No it’s all real, it’s happening. No room for imagination. “Do you see what I see?” 
I’m served another “giggle juice,” as the bartender calls it. The girl beside me finally says hello. Not hello per say, but she offers her cellphone charger when I ask the bartender for one. That’s a girls way of saying hello, using the first excuse to make contact. I’m thankful. Grateful. Sad in a way. Part of me was hoping I would finally be disconnected from the world. Without a phone, no one can find me. Unless they actually care. My phone is left charging and before I know it, I spill my entire life story to this stranger. This strange girl. How quick are we to trust a complete stranger? It must be the little faith I have left on humanity. People must be good. Essentially anyways… 
It’s now 7:38pm, second drink in. I realize I’ve overcome my stay even though no one says it. I’m urged to stay but the fact that the bar is now filled with new faces, keeps me wondering. I want to stay. I have no courage, not yet. No. I must go. Check please. This is it. Now or never. The drink warms my stomach, butterflies gone. All seems well amid my thoughts. Nerves gone. 
The evil is soothing, I smile.

© 2013 Stephanie Alfaia Gomes All Rights Reserved

You may also like

Leave a Comment